Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sex, Power & Women: What's Self-Love Got to Do with It?

Sex sells. That's what male advertising execs have been quoted as saying for the last 30 years, right? Did they mean selling masculine, feminine or androgynous sexiness? Did they ever hint that, if they could legally get away with it, they would in fact sell sex itself for a handsome profit? We all know prostitution is the world's oldest profession. But is it the sexual act, the fantasy of "forbidden" sex or the power that is really for sale?

So we've seen the Newsweek issue this week with a perky Sarah Palin in a red, short-short running outfit. Sexist, maybe. Did it sell? Yep. What's scarier? A sexy woman speaking her mind in a red business suit or a powerful woman in red booty shorts?

Today, as I do every Thursday, I took the first few hours to clear the Tivo of "mom shows" over breakfast before starting my day. On the tasty menu today, three Tyra Banks shows: 1) featuring Halle Berry (and her new "sexy" perfume), 2) Tyra going undercover as a stripper and 3) Tyra interviewing women who work in the sex industry. Was the Universe showing me a theme, or what?

First off, Tyra and Halle on one screen, in HD, at the same time...too beautiful to even believe. I almost felt unworthy of even watching them, as the fabulousness was just unheard of. On the flip side, Halle made me aware that my recent move to cut my hair extremely short, was indeed a good one. Helping me to see more of who I really am, removing one more layer of masking and hiding. The energy in the studio was electric as women from all backgrounds, shapes and sizes admired and soaked in all that powerful, beautiful and successful women (and mother) can be.

In contrast, the gasps of shock, tears of pain and empathy of the audience members for the young women pimped and prostituted for their lack of self esteem and deep lack of self-love, was moving and palpable. The women on the stage began with such bravado and defiance, that at first, they felt in control and powerful over their lives, bodies and destiny's. Over time, the shame, hopelessness, abuse, and often drugs and alcohol took their toll. The self-loathing that was always there became the power tool. And it was used against them in a way they never saw coming. How many times in our lives, do we sell our soul or heart for something? Acceptance, attention, money, status? Is it not the same exchange of personal power for a shiney bauble?

In truth, on a daily basis, I recognize this low self esteem and void of self-love is at the root of so many conflicts many women's lives. It's a tricky varmint to pinpoint. And even trickier to corral and eliminate. But with resolve and effort, it can be done. In my case, it took prayer, meditation and energy work to just allow the validation and God-Love to wash over me without fighting it. It's the first step to healing and to truly having the kind of life we want. Owning our own power indeed originates in Divine Self-Love. And when called for, a hot red power suit and the perfect pair of sassy (I prefer leopard print) pumps help too! I think of my girl Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place as a placeholder.

No comments:

Post a Comment