Monday, September 27, 2010
Beginning day six of what is shaping up to be an incredibly life-validating, monthlong experiment. Life is a wonderful playshop. And if we are creative, it's (mostly) free. My goal, from the 2010 Fall Equinox/September Super Harvest Moon/Full Moon through the next Full Moon of October 22, 2010? To develop the deepest, most robust, juicy and Loving relationship with my Higher Self and God as I have ever had. Daily prayer, meditation, reflection/writing, cleansing (of mind and body) and some form of fasting each week are on the very loose but ambitious agenda for the month. Before anybody starts spouting off about their (unfounded) opinions about fasting, remember there are all types of fasts. As a matter of fact, I've done most of them personally, all with varying levels of success.
Warning, warning! TMI-alert! If you are squimish or overly-sensitive, you might want to change the channel, as I am a CHRONIC over-sharer. My spirit is often guided to give alot of the gory details that your average poser is unable or unwiling to share.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, to "fast" means, "to eat sparingly or abstain from some foods." In many religions including Judaism, Christianity and Islam, among others. As a kid, I went to Catholic school during the day, and was taught by the nuns all about becoming "mature in my faith" and knowing when to pull back and self-deny in order to focus on communicating directly with God. And on Sundays, I fellowshipped at a Holiness church (a kind of Pentacostal/Baptist hybrid) where we would monthly have "Corporate Fasts" on behalf of a shared spiritual goal or vision. And of course there were those marathon teen starvation fasts. Those were done with the hopes of maintaing the doctor chart standard of 125 pounds. Even during those times of light-headedness and hallucinations, I would capitolize on the opportunity to use time I normally spent eating to pray and meditate in silence on my relationship with God. I know, I was an unconventional kid, what can I say. At 14, when my great-grandfather died, I felt his spirit lingering around my family. I felt so much angst for him: 1) he was so tied to our grief and safety, he felt unfinished, and 2) because of certain "transgressions" in his lifetime, I was worried he might not make it all the way to Heaven safely. So I commenced, without family consent, to two weeks of fasting and prayer for his safe passage into the Pearly Gates. At the end of the forteen days, a feeling of relief and accomplishment washed over me, and I knew without doubt, that my actions helped him to let go and to move on with Blessing.
Over the next few decades, I would always (though slowly and with hesitation) answer the inner call to fast or abstain. I've done the Master Cleanse, juice fasts, water fasts, raw vegan fasts, you name it. Each time, I was careful to give myself an out, you know, "just in case" whatever that means. While fortunate to always know that where ever I chose to begin or end, God was always there to meet me where I was and be okay with me. The real problem is that rarely have I actually been okay with me. Affirmations, meal plans and support groups are great. But energy work and prayer (often they are one in the same) really magnify success results in any endeavor. I did a major cleanse last Easter. I was so down on myself for not making through the entire six weeks. But I knew I had accomplish a great amount of healing and cleansing when I quit. The one lingering issue during each fast/cleanse? A feeling of self-deprivation and resentment. Resentment for what? I guess that's a whole 'nuther episode of Oprah, but you would think it would be for all the foods/drinks/social activities I had to "give up" to get back to health and wholness, albeit for a short amount of time. But over the years, I've come to see it is more of a self-hate kinda thing. How often do we really beat ourselves up over those things we think we have really screwed up in our lives? Our career, our kids, our relationships, our future, our finances, our physical and mental health...well, everything. Is it just me, or are the feelings of guilt, self-depreciation and regret ever-present and overwhelming?
Fortunately, with alot of prayer, meditation, Reiki, past life regression, shamanic healing, hypnotherapy and even a little psychology...I've come to see my life, our lives, from a larger vantage point over the years. Do I still feel a great amount of responsibility for the bumps and bruises in my life, of course. As a grown up, we must have self-mastery and self-accountability. However, the power to create, and heal is in the NOW.
My body, God, my Higher Self and my high-level Guides have been slowly nudging me to this point for some time. Only recently have I really stopped the outward focus so much and sat back and really listened to what my body-mind and emotions have been trying to tell me for the last couple of years. I'm tired (no, exhausted is a better word), mentally fatigued, overweight, and psychically over-saturated. So I decided towards the beginning of the year to do what my body mind tells me to do. If I wanted an occasional steak or corned beef sandwich from Canter's, or bottle of Kendall Jackson Zinfindel, or Bryer's Butter Pecan ice cream....damnit I'm grown, I consumed it. If I wanted to become more sedentary and retreat into my nice, cool, comfortable house (with it's soft warm Snuggie), I did it (alot actually). Now I know it was a matter of proving to my body that it can trust me to listen to it, to make good on my promise to value myself and my temple that brings in all of this wonderful spiritual insight and assistance for others.
So now, this time, I'm honestly and truly ready to move into the next era of wellness for myself. This next month is a process, and I'm intending to savor the journey. This last week, I decided to ease into this monthlong fast/cleanse. Went veggie, no animal products including foul, fish or dairy. I've been making the most delicious gourment veggie burgers (even converted the three men in my house to those), salads and soups. Next week, maybe I'll go raw or maybe I might even do the Master Cleanse for ten days. Then the last two weeks, I'll continue to delve into prayer and meditation for my next steps. So far, three books topics (with titles and cover artwork) have come out. I'm feeling well-cared for, energetic and joyful.
Several people have asked me for specifics, so here we go. First of all, I never say "do as I do" or this may work for you, because it may not. Use common sense and talk with your doctor before doing anything radical or irresponsible (like I do) such as drastically changing your diet and completely turning your life upset down, k? Almost all of the books, tapes, CD's etc, I have read for myself personally and use the techniques and tools. Please do your own research and listen to that small still voice inside YOU as to what may or may not work for you and your lifestyle.
-The Dark Side of the Light Chasers - Ford
-Master Cleanse - Burroughs
-Raw Food Life Force Energy - Rose
-Juicing for Life - Calbom
-Quantum Wellness Cleanse: The 21-Day Essential Guide to Healing Your Mind, Body and Spirit - Freston
-The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse: A Breakthrough Program for Connecting with Your Soul's Deepest Purpose - Ford
-Lose Weight, Have More Energy & Be Happier in 10 Days, Second Edition - Glickman
-You Can Heal Your Life (book & workbook)- Hay
-You Are Psychic - Katz
-You Are the Answer - Tamura
-Why Prople Don't Heal and How They Can - Hay
-Guided Meditation - Howell
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Today, from Autumn Equinox 2010/full moon to the next full moon, I'm do a "consciousness cleanse." It's been a long time coming, and my goal is to reconnect more deeply with my Creator and also with my Higher Self. I wrote a brief intro on a women's blogsite and title the post "Meeting Me Where I Am: A monthlong journey."
The plan as it stands right now: no animal products, daily (and deliberate) prayer, meditation, Reiki and an overall general self-Love-fest. I made my first trip to the grocery store to stock up on veggies, and feeling no anxiety so far. The past mentality I often took was to first have a "last supper" and secretly begin without telling anyone so as to not feel foolish when I fell off the wagon.
This time feels different. I feel empowered, focused and well-prepared. Actually, a feeling of excitement is coming over me, as I know this could be the start of somethin' good. God meets us where we are now. I know there is no need to wait for a more perfect me before I can receive all the abundance and blessing a soul connection to my Creator and God-self. Day one is under way!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Time seems to be moving by so quickly. This Wednesday, September 22, is the Autumnal Equinox 2010, which marks the first official day of Fall. The name "equinox" is derived from the Latin aequus (equal) and nox (night), implying the ability to straddle the world between day and night, light and dark. According to Dictionary.com, equinox is "the time when the sun crosses the plane of the earth's equator, making night and day of approximately equal length all over the earth." For me, it becomes of time of balance and the desire to slow down, take stock, observe the tilled soil and prepare for respite.
Since ancient times, human and animal alike, have wondered (and often worshipped) the change of seasons and what it can mean to body, mind, spirit, livelihood and religion. In her book, "Ceremonies of the Seasons: Exploring and Celebrating Nature's Eternal Cycle," Jennifer Cole shows how Greek, Egyptian, Pagan, Jewish and Christians alike have all shown reverence for this natural and inevitable dance between abundance and harvest have left an indelible mark on humanity. I still know of Ohio farmers who have huge festivals (we now call them "fairs") to celebrate the tradition.
On another level, I definitely feel my Earth Mother (some say witchery) was surface come this time every year. Although I live in one of those shiny new yuppie suburbs, it goes much deeper than the pumpkins and scarecrows at our local Target. It's almost reminds me of the "nesting" I felt when about to deliver both my babies. My broom becomes almost a sacred object. Not only do I do alot of cleaning, purging and organizing. I set the intention of sweeping away old energy, arguments, money issues, confusion and negativity. I smudge and Reiki our home, use my Shamanic drum throughout, burn incense and white candles and perform energy cleansing on our property, cars, bills and family. My love for Jesus and the Holy Trinity knows no bounds, but I can clearly see myself with herbs and books performing healings and blessings using Earth Magik in past lives.
It makes me feel so much compassion for my Wiccan friends and even for Senate Candidate Christine O'Donnell. The Associated Press describes the recent witchhunt-like mentality to discount her qualifications based on her remarks that she "dabbled with witchcraft" as a youth. Over coffee with a dear (uber Christian) friend of mine this weekend, as we discussed how we are allowing God to move more powerfully in our lives with the intention of helping others and living more joyfully, I could hear the slight air of judgment and disdain for anything that sounds "New Age" or nontraditional. It hurts my heart that so many people still must remain in the closet spiritually, for fear of reliving being burned, drowned, stoned or ostracized.
So, it brings the "dance of Light and Dark" to an even bigger level...right back to the forefront, instead of in some back room conversation. On a larger scale, we are entering the time of year where there is less daylight and more nightfall. It is a soothing time of coming together, feasting and opportunity to gather, recharge and review. Can it also be a time of enlightenment even in the midst of darkness? Such is the question, to self-examine and to embrace and acknowledge the shadow side of life. Rereading "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams" by Debbie Ford is always fun for me. Always with new insight and new levels of self-acceptance. The beginning of Fall is such a wonderfully colorful reminder of the need to work with ebb and flow and to find balance, regardless of what is going on around us.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Is it my imagination, or is life not only traveling by at break-neck speed but also offering endless "opportunity" to connect more deeply and experience every nuance of emotions via heightened awareness?
Ok, I admit, I'm rambling. And your patience is sooo appreciated while I get the crazy talk out of my head, for all to judge. Is it a matter of tapping into the "collective consciousness" of our world feeling the squeeze of financial apocalypse? USA Today's recent article suggests I might even be digesting the stress and experiences of those around me and making it my own.
The last few months have been wrought with high emotion, melancholy, deep insight, major growth shifts and euphoric highs. Before you ask: yes, I'm current on all needed meds, hormones checks and therapy sessions. I've just really felt the push-pull, ebb-flow in a more pronounced way. It has become more important than ever for me to connect deeply with others (friends, family and complete strangers), to follow my path, to live in joy and to be of service like I never have before. The LA Times recently published a column showing the correlation between having social life and loving relationships, community involvement and a longer and happier life.
As my kids say, uh, duh mom. fortunately, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I know this slip into what is euphemistically known as a "growth period" means that when I inevitably emerge from the other side of this time of high emotion and deep thinking/feeling, my life will be changed for the better. In the interim, thank God for prayer, meditation, long walks at sunset...and butter pecan ice cream.